What Hurts
by QueenofSwordsMedusa
Summary: Reid overhears Luke telling Noah that he is the only one for him.


"_Noah, you're the only one for me."_

Years ago, if someone said Reid could be moved and there was no way in hell he can always put up the cool, calm, unemotional mask he wore regardless of how bad a situation was; they needed a check in the brains, preferably a thorough one.

Now, at this moment, Reid was pretty sure that whoever who thought that to be true would be laughing at him now. He was very sure that at this very moment as he looked into the window of his patient's ward, his face was a mixture of hurt, anguish and bitter disappointment; said "cool, calm, unemotional mask" nowhere in sight.

Anyone who knew him would be shocked by the emotional state he was announcing in his face now. They would probably ask questions, try to mother him or maybe even mock him since they would be seeing this vulnerable side to him at last. After all the insults he had hurled in their face, they probably could use this to throw back in his face. However, Reid could not bring himself to care about how he looked in the eye of an outsider now, least of all what they thought or do about it. He only cared about what was happening inside the ward of one of his patients – _Noah Mayer_.

Reid felt a dull ache in his heart as he watched his patient being held by the hand by a blackmailing (_devoted_), annoying (_caring_), selfish (_generous_) brat he had come to _lov- like_ – _Luke Synder_.

"Noah, you're the only one for me," Luke was saying to Noah as he held onto his hand.

Reid shut his eyes tightly and started counting backwards, willing himself to detach from the inner turmoil in his heart and block out what was happening in the ward.

10 … 9 … _He gave a small encouraging smile. "It's working." … _8 … "I'm not letting you do this alone. I'm going Texas with you." … 7 _… 6 … He looked back stunned after being released from the kiss and at his confession of wanting to kiss him for a long time … 5 … "Really, Reid …?" he sighed and shook his head in disbelief at the quantity of food on his plate … 4 … He threw his head back and laughed along at the absurdity and logic of the show they were watching on television… 3 …. The anguish on his face as he learnt about Noah Mayer's unsuccessful surgery and new medical status … 2 … The look of concern in his hazel brown eyes on hearing about said world's greatest doctor's suspension …_

_1 … The inside of his mouth warm and welcome as his tongue danced around with his. The delightful sound of his moan as his hands slid under the shirt to explore the soft smooth skin underneath. The tight cling of his arms to his own shoulders as he continued to attack his mouth ferociously and palm the space between his legs, eliciting another moan from the blond …_

_0 … The fumble of trying to release each other from the constriction of clothes … _

"_STOP."_

"_I … erm, need to visit Noah. It's almost time." And out of the apartment he left; stage right._

Memories after memories, even the tiniest ones of them all, kept resurfacing to the front of Reid's mind and knocking down any effort in building back the wall around his heart. _Luke Synder. What have you done to me?_

To Reid, those memories were very meaningful and probably what he would cherish the most, had he been able to go further down the road with this cute blond. Unfortunately, the person who should be feeling the same did not think the same. He probably thought that what they had was just a fling; nothing compared to his "epic" love story with Noah Mayer.

Carefully and quietly, Reid closed the door. Drawing a deep breath, he composed himself. There were things to be done. He should not be here. He was still on suspension and he had to stay away and follow the rules – even if he really did not want to – for the sake of getting the suspension lifted.

If there was anything he learnt during his time with Luke, it was that he had to have patience. He already survived putting up with the blond brat who blackmailed him all the way to Oakhell; waiting patiently to get back to Dallas; waiting for the results of the hearing in Dallas and finally waiting for Luke's decision after his proposal of a relationship.

Of course, in the end, he did not get what he wanted the most, but the experience and lessons were recorded to his wonderful grey-matter also known as the brain. And the brain was something he had the best knowledge of and control of. To control his brain would also mean to control every action, thought, feeling, et cetera, et cetera. Henceforth, it was time to gain back the control, stop letting the heart rule and end this miserable side of his that he was showing out for the world to see.

It was time to throw his softer, kinder side back into the closet and be the person everyone knew the most – a jerk of a doctor with awful bedside manner but a genius nonetheless.

Reid took one last look at the duo that seemed to be in a world of their own. Then, he straightened his shoulders as he put his emotional mask back on. _There._ Now, there was nothing that can be deduced from his once miserable looking face.

_Time to for this to end, it was good while it lasted_, he thought as he took a step forward.

And walked away from the love story that he could never be a part of.


End file.
